I live with a good person, he is a wonderful father and husband. I got married at 30, in marriage we are almost 6 years old. I am a very shy person, it is difficult for me to make independent decisions. Previously, my mother made decisions for me, but now my husband. We have known each other for a very long time, went to one kindergarten and studied in the same class. They didn’t notice each other before, they talked little.
He probably married me because by the age of 30 he did not meet anyone, but I was just a spare option. I got married because I loved him and wanted a family, and most importantly, a child. Now our daughter is growing, he loves her very much and does everything for her. I think that he lives with me because of his daughter.
My husband does not suit a lot in me. He would like me to lose weight and pay more attention to home duties and to him. It reproaches that the main thing for me is work, and the family is in the last place. I don’t know what is happening to me, but I don’t want to do anything around the house, I really devote too much time to work.
I don’t want to talk about intimate relationships. Earlier in this regard, everything was fine, but now it does not bring me much joy. I love my husband, I don’t want to get divorced. He does not cheat on me, I know for sure. There is another problem: I have not developed a relationship with his mother, and he has. We practically do not communicate. Tell me how to live on, what to change in yourself and how to do it?
Natalia, when I read your letter, my imagination painted a person not only uncertain in himself, but also depreciating himself, his capabilities, his appearance, his achievements. And generally unsatisfied with your own life.
The impression is that everything positive that is happening in your life is a pure chance, and not at all your will. And even if the husband married you and lives with you, it is again not clear how it happened.
I can assume: since you are used to swim with the flow and not take responsibility for your life, then in your view and others do the same. It happens, but it is not always the case.
Most people choose their lives and are responsible for their choice. Chooses every day: his family, his work, his house and much more. And if one of this does not suit them, they change it. My opinion is if a man continues to live with you, this is definitely his choice. And if he is faithful to you and loves your common daughter, this once again confirms his decision.
But if you doubt it, I suggest you talk openly, calmly and honestly. Ask him: “Dear, are
you ready to accept me in the weight in which I am now?”” Are you ready to put up with the fact that I will always pay as much attention to home responsibilities as now?”” What will happen if I can’t change in any of the points?” And so on.